Original Artwork by Pablo Amaringo - Click Image to View Listing of this painting in Woven Visions Shop
Transformational Experiences and Integration Work
It is often said the real work of a transformative experience takes place after the experience has ended. John "Lame Deer" Erdos, a famous Lakota heyoka medicine man, said something along the lines that with peyote, anyone can have vision, it doesn't take much work. He is not denigrating the peyote ceremony, just pointing out that the method to enter the spirit world simply involves eating a plant and voilà - you receive a vision. In his biography, Lame Deer is specifically comparing peyote to Lakota ceremonies such as the Sundance, where there is a grueling sacrificial aspect of food, water, flesh, and more. There is of course, the discipline oriented with the ceremonial peyote tipi process: sitting up all night, praying, fasting, facing the darkness of your psyche and spirit, controlling your fears, desires, discomfort and so on. What I take away from his assessment is not to focus on comparing one ceremony to another but that if one just goes to a plant medicine ceremony, returns home and carries about their day without a deeper assessment of their habits, reactions, behaviors, addictions, and so on, than the ceremony is in danger of becoming just another thing for us to consume, blocking a much needed healing confrontation with ourselves.
Integrative Prayer and Alchemical Action When Dealing with Others
We go into any ceremonial experience with the intention to pray, meditate, and purify so that we may become a humble vessel for whatever the universe wants to bring forth from within us. However, the Dalai Lama said, "We will not achieve change by prayer alone; we need to take action." My assessment is that we can measure the sincerity of our prayers by the degree to which we are willing to take action to initiate real change in our lives. It is essential to enter into a ceremonial container, connect to spirit, God, creator, any name will do, and receive a vision for our lives but our real test of faith is how we apply the teachings received in that visionary state in our everyday and mundane interactions with life, especially other people. I have spent the last 12 years living in a conscious community in an ashram-style setting where you could argue the collective intention on one level has been to expedite the integration process around transformative experiences of all types - yoga, meditation, fasting, ceremony, pilgrimages, and so on. We practice many traditions and techniques with a commitment to live, work, and support one another on our personal paths of awakening, understanding it is through our relationships where we receive the most powerful reflections.
As I was writing this, my 3-year-old son ran up to me with a straw and spit a huge stream of water into my face. I am also 38 hours into a water fast as a disciplinary practice of holistic purification that I do once a week. Regardless, I found myself quite upset and restrained him as he tried to make a get away. I felt the urge to yell at him, "but what good would that do?" I thought , settling myself down and giving thanks for the presence of mind and good judgement that prevailed. Instead, I calmly but sternly told him several times, "it is not okay to spit in peoples' faces", I doubt he received the message as he ran off laughing. As I have heard many times, "children are our greatest teachers", training us to be calm, restrained, responsible, compassionate, merciful, yet firm and assertive, in order to enforce healthy and safe boundaries. My teacher, Maestro Manuel, liked to say we live in a "mocking universe", whatever side we take in duality, there is someone ready to ridicule us from the other end, moments like these seem to affirm that teaching :)
This small and ordinary example of dealing with my son unexpectedly spitting water in my face is on some level the ultimate test of the universe and integration work. I previously entered into a transcendental environment of prayer and meditation, seeking to create a more peaceful world above all else. When I return to normal life, have I practiced enough and remained firm in the conviction of a prayer for peace to treat a child, not just any child, but my own son, with compassion and forgiveness? Do I interrupt a cycle of negativity by remaining equanimous, or do I initiate further suffering by falling into unconscious identification with my anger? This is the integrative training of community and family. It is the most difficult yoga posture I have found. Expose yourself to your triggers but with the intention to not react but rather transmute the emotional debris into gold, that is to say, consciousness oriented towards healing, peace, love, compassion, and so on--true alchemy.
Daily Practice in the Yoga of Relationship and Proper Guidance
I have learned the only way to be effective in the yoga of relationship is through a dedicated and rigorous commitment to daily disciplines: meditation, prayer, yoga, art, music, service to others, exercise, diet & nutrition, ceremonial purification, and so on. The question I am asking myself right now, "How would I have responded to my son if I was not deeply committed to those practices?" It is then easy to understand why there is so much hatred, violence, and unnecessary affliction in the world. Humanity is lacking the capacity of consciousness to choose peace. As Ram Dass says, "We can only work on ourselves." We cannot force others to become compassionate, peaceful, and loving. That being said, when we are sincere in our practice, not flawless, because that is not possible, but sincere, when we are genuinely sincere in our practice, and another comes to us in an equally authentic and humble search for a way out of their own darkness, we do have the capacity to empower others in their walk to freedom. They are still the ones who must do the work but their success is greatly expedited if we hand them the proper tools, along with a clear demonstration and instruction manual on how to operate them. This affirms why real change only comes through working on ourselves. How can you guide anyone through something you have not yet navigated yourself?
My experiences living in a spiritual community for 12 years has confirmed this for me in a deep and unwavering manner. Integration work is something that needs to be customized to each individual. What works for one person might be detrimental to another and it is much easier to navigate the terrain with a GPS system and headbeams than blindly wandering in the dark. I am not a teacher by any means and am constantly finding myself humbled by life, making mistakes, and learning the hard way at times. However, Ixchel and I have been encouraged by our teacher to go out and share what we have been passed and be of service to others in as many creative ways as possible. As the elders of the Initiatic tradition who we have studied under say, "serve to be perfect, be perfect to serve", to me this implies that we are all flawed, it is human nature, but that in the intentional act to be of service to the world, something divine and redemptive arises. Ixchel and I have worked with countless people teaching and sharing meditation, yoga, breathwork, prayer, art, music, diet/nutrition, ritualist healing practices and more. Sharing this work is our passion, it brings meaning to our lives, and it is our prayer that it can reach as many people who need it as possible in order to create a more peaceful and harmonious world.
Written by
Jerry Walsh
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